Day 28 – Tears shed

If you sick of reading of it, imagine how I am feeling having to live through it every day! I know the opinion of many is that I had surgery to have more defined cheekbones. I can put my hand on my heart and say there is no chance in hell I would endure what I have been through. Yes I know it’s not life threatening but I would not go under the knife to achieve perfection. 

After my check up I was feeling quite upbeat, which at the moment is an achievement for me. The change in elastics are causing me pain no end. It’s like having my wires tightened on top of everything else. It is so painful that I want to cry so loudly that the birds in the sky stop in flight! I feel so trapped in my current state of limbo, pain and drugs. 

Just the other day mum made my favourite food, Rice and Lobia (red kidney beans curry) it’s a Kashmiri dish which we all love, even the thought of it makes me happy! All I wanted to do was have a spoon of it, but chewing is out of the question at the moment. Instead I have soup, which I am so grateful to my mum for but oh god do I hate it. 

My bottom lip and chin are still oblivious to the world and I am sick and tired of everyone saying it will get better. I know it was my decision but sometimes I think maybe I should not have had it done. Yes I am feeling extremely sorry for myself and need to get a grip. But then maybe if I vent on here, I might get the negativity out of the system. Well here’s to hoping, strange things have happened. 

Apologies for the eyebrows it’s been a few weeks.


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