To forgive and forget 

It’s been a while and I thought a blog was in order and for once I am not moaning about my boys, well I will try not to. I spoke to soon, the elder two boys decided one morning to use their bin as the urinal, you can imagine my horror. I do wonder what goes on in their heads? 

On a positive note I decided to get back into exercising again, which was a shock to the system to say the least. It has been short lived though due to a last minute wedding been thrown in the mix. Need to get back into that as was actually enjoying it. 

What else? A family feud that has lasted the best part of five years has been resolved, but it still feels as though we are walking on egg shells that could crack at any moment causing wider divisions. The words that have been uttered can never be unsaid so how can we forget? I look to the Quran and it makes perfect sense, no one is perfect and each of us are on our own journey and we each have our flaws me included. If Allah can forgive his creation time and time again then surely we should find it within ourselves to forgive? 

“…They should rather pardon and overlook. Would you not love Allah to forgive you? Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Qur’an, 24.22)

Religion is not the only justification acccording to Dr. Frederic Luskin book ‘Forgive for Good’, forgiveness is one of the ingredients in order to achieve health and happiness. As it helps to reduce anger, suffering, depression and stress. He goes on to say that:

“The thing about long-term or unresolved anger, is we’ve seen it resets the internal thermostat. When you get used to a low level of anger all the time, you don’t recognize what’s normal. It creates a kind of adrenaline rush that people get used to. It burns out the body and makes it difficult to think clearly-making the situation worse.” 69

In addition, Dr. Luskin says, 

“when the body releases certain enzymes during anger and stress, cholesterol and blood pressure levels go up-not a good long-term disposition to maintain the body in.” 70

It makes perfect sense that we should forgive but in reality those feelings that have been embedded deep within the walls of your brain take a lot longer to forget. Especially when snide remarks are made to try and catch you off guard. 

On occasions like this I remember my Abaaji (grandad) and how he was always so forgiving and loved each person in the family. He was always the voice of calm that many turned to for advice. I may never be emulate him but I know I can draw strength from his examples. 

Unfortunately what has happened cannot be changed, we cannot let the past dictate and burden our future as then they we will fail. I focus on the blessings in my life, being married to my best friend (did I mention he is the definition of gorgeous) having three happy and healthy boys who make my world complete Ma Shah Allah. To those who want to share my happiness I will always open my arms despite what has happened and to those that do not I wish you the best of luck in your life and hope you find your happiness.


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